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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Brett Favre's Troubled Past

Though undeniably talented, Brett Favre has made a habit of getting into strange situations. We look at some of his more remarkable exploits.

  • 1991: NFL Draft ruins his lifelong dream of becoming a Mississippi high school teacher who coaches the football team and gets fired for trying to sleep with one of his students
  • 1993: Favre walks directly up to an 18-year-old female Packers intern and asks if he can perform cunnilingus on her
  • 1995: When asked if he wants more extra-cheese on his cheese fries, Favre says no, sending shockwaves throughout the entire state of Wisconsin
  • 1996: Favre pukes up blood on the sidelines after being sacked, forcing coaches to waste a time-out as they wait for him to pick Vicodin pills out of his vomit
  • 1999: Favre breaks his thumb after covertly trying to stick it into sideline reporter Pam Oliver's ass
  • 2003: Desperate for any kind of inspiration, Favre kills his father
  • 2007: Favre apologizes to fans after inappropriately appearing in a Wrangler Jeans commercial
  • 2008: Totally cries on national television in front of everyone
  • 2010: Ages slightly in the offseason
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