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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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'Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2' Breaking Sales Records

During its first five days on the shelves, Activision's latest installment in the first-person-shooter video game franchise Call Of Duty brought in $550 million worldwide. What are the reasons for its popularity?

  • Somehow knows names and places of battles that are set to take place in the next few weeks
  • Multiplayer mode enables you to connect with friends, nonstop action prevents them from drawing you into meaningful conversation
  • 5,000 or more hours of game play qualifies player for VA health care
  • Not much good on TV
  • When you shoot barrels, they explode
  • The controller rumbles when your character is hit with a bullet, which is exactly what the human body does
  • Dutiful young Americans realizing just what they are being called to do
  • Offers homosexuals only opportunity to serve openly in the military
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