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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.
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Cancer Death Rate Dropping

According to the American Cancer Society, cancer deaths are down for the second straight year. Here are some reasons why:

Recently discovered strain of life-prolonging colon cancer

New government program designed to educate public about dangers of eating uranium

Healthier diets, earlier diagnosis, ball-checking—all that shit

In 2004, all power lines were redirected to only go over one guy's house

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

'Cancer-Reducing Greg' has doubled his workload

Simple statistical fluke

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