adBlockCheck

Politics

Social Media Rock Star Makes $28,000 Per Year

Widely regarded as one of the online world’s brightest personalities, sources confirmed Friday that famed 28-year-old social media rock star Ryan Wasserman, better known as @RWthinks by his legions of passionate fans, makes roughly $28,000 per year.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Candidate Profile: Donald Trump

Billionaire real estate mogul and television personality Donald Trump announced Tuesday plans to run in the 2016 presidential election, marking the first time he will formally seek the Republican nomination after floating the idea in several previous election cycles. Here are some key facts to know about Trump:

  • Wife: Unsatisfied
  • Net Worth: 3-4 presidential elections
  • Claim To Fame: First to refer to ISIS as “bozos”
  • Role: Billionaire who will have smallest impact on presidential race
  • Campaign Promise: Will turn America into an opulent destination for only the most exclusive citizens
  • Campaign Slogan: “I’m Going To Do This Every Four Years Until I Die”
  • Credentials: Proven job creator for desperate people who will do anything to be famous
  • Potential Liability: American people may not yet be progressive enough to elect mentally ill man
  • Vision For Presidency: 50 Miss USA finalists lined up along White House portico
  • Are We Just Enabling Him: Yes

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close