adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Candidates' Last-Minute Appeals To Voters

With Election Day less than a week away, Mitt Romney and Barack Obama are urgently barnstorming through key battleground states. Here are some of their last-minute efforts to secure crucial votes:

  • Sioux City, IA: At a campaign stop, Romney declares the apple pie at Ruth’s Diner the “most satisfactory pie in the state”
  • Marysville, OH: Obama hangs his head out his campaign bus window and loudly screams the words “abortion” and “middle-class” while tearing through town at 50 miles per hour
  • Londonderry, NH: Romney delivers a well-rehearsed story about spending time in the New Hampshire woods and enjoying all 27 different species of tree it had to offer
  • Cary, NC: Romney eats six different local delicacies at once, while simultaneously touring a factory in a hard hat, while delivering a speech on why America is the greatest nation on earth
  • Fairfax, VA: After a fatigued, sweating Obama falls to his knees during a stump speech, an aide puts a cape around his shoulders and begins to walk him offstage, only for the president to throw off the garment seconds later and burst back toward the mic to deliver more rousing alternative-energy talking points
  • West Palm Beach, FL: Romney wrestles an alligator, snaps its neck, and shouts, “No apologies”
  • Cincinnati, OH: Obama lays a trail of popcorn shrimp from each undecided voter’s apartment to the nearest polling station
  • San Francisco, CA: Romney explains to rally attendees that he accidentally got on the wrong flight and he’s sorry for wasting everyone’s time
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close