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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Career Highlights Of Phil Jackson

Thirteen-time NBA champion Phil Jackson, the man who most thoroughly embodies the idea of the basketball guru, is saying he’ll hang it up now that his Lakers have been eliminated from the playoffs. We look back on his life and career:

  • 1945: Born in Deer Lodge, MT, where all kids could do for fun was wear suits and pace back and forth
  • 1963: Birth of Michael Jordan
  • 1975: While discussing plays during a timeout, Jackson decides he’d rather stay there on the sidelines than go back in and play
  • 1990: Jackson first implements the triangle offense with his Bulls team, the triangle being comprised of three Bulls players staying the hell out of the way of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen
  • 1992: After winning back-to-back titles, Jackson comes up with the idea of doing it again the next year
  • 2004: Has the pleasure of seeing Karl Malone and Gary Payton lose in the Finals
  • 2004: After a long day of heated contract negotiations, goes home and fucks his boss's daughter repeatedly
  • 2011: Jackson ascends to a higher plane of coaching in a bright flash of pure white energy
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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