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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Celebrating John Madden

As John Madden walks off into football history, we look at the moments that made him a legend:

1936: Mary Margaret Madden feels what she believes is her child kicking, but is in actuality her unborn son John eating his twin brother

1958: Is drafted by the Eagles, but spends too much time talking about their "smashmouth style of old-school football that really shows what the NFL is all about" to get much better at playing

1970s: Apparently coached football somewhere around this time period

1979: Madden develops a fear of flying when he asks a flight attendant what would happen if the airplane crashed, to which she responds, "We would almost certainly die"

1987: Has sex for the first time

1998: Announces 16 regular season games and entire NFC playoffs with several bratwurst stuck in his esophagus

2003: While no one is looking, tries stuffing a turducken into a cow

2009: Realizes the game has finally passed him by upon seeing Ben Roethlisberger and Santonio Holmes celebrate their Super Bowl victory by making out a little bit

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