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Entertainment

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Celebrities Celebrate Valentine's Day

Like most Americans, celebrity couples enjoy going out to eat or buying flowers around this time of year. How are Hollywood sweethearts celebrating Valentine's Day?

Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet: Going to see The Reader, whooping whenever Winslet appears naked

Seal and Heidi Klum: Dinner at the Olive Garden, followed by a trip to the mall, so Klum can finally spend her $50 Victoria's Secret gift certificate, then on to a room at a nearby Best Western, where the pair will have awkward sex

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman: Hot, nasty, animalistic fucking

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox: Watching DVDs of Beverly Hills 90210 as a notoriously jealous Austin Green forces Fox to make out with him during every scene involving Dylan

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart: One kiss at 6:30 p.m.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw: Red cowboy hats

Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins: Rediscovering their love for each other by discussing the Horn of Africa's female genital mutilation pandemic over a candlelight dinner

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn: Not sure, but it smells like burning tires

Mickey Rourke and Evan Rachel Wood: Oh, dear god, please, let it be a quiet night at home

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