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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Championship Teams At The White House

The championship winner's White House visit is a hallowed tradition, but some have gone more smoothly than others. Here are some of the most memorable:

1902: Theodore Roosevelt honors self after felling particularly large elk

1943: After a perfunctory greeting, Franklin D. Roosevelt orders the world champion Yankees to get back to the front immediately

1974: Hard-nosed running back Larry Csonka of the NFL champion Miami Dolphins presents a ceremonial game ball to Gerald Ford, breaking the president's arm in four places

1978: Officials struggle to maintain order, several high-ranking Generals are flabbergasted, and President Carter dodges a bucketful of confetti during the Harlem Globetrotters' annual White House visit

1987: Ronald Reagan regales the Mets with more cocaine stories than they can handle

1992: Duke forward Grant Hill feels like a complete idiot for bringing a big bowl of fruit salad to the ceremony

1999: After being told President Clinton is "very busy," the WNBA champion Houston Comets are greeted by Secretary of Transportation Rodney Slater

2004: Although the Marlins are the reigning World Series champs, George W. Bush invites the Texas Rangers for a visit instead

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