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The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Championship Teams At The White House

The championship winner's White House visit is a hallowed tradition, but some have gone more smoothly than others. Here are some of the most memorable:

1902: Theodore Roosevelt honors self after felling particularly large elk

1943: After a perfunctory greeting, Franklin D. Roosevelt orders the world champion Yankees to get back to the front immediately

1974: Hard-nosed running back Larry Csonka of the NFL champion Miami Dolphins presents a ceremonial game ball to Gerald Ford, breaking the president's arm in four places

1978: Officials struggle to maintain order, several high-ranking Generals are flabbergasted, and President Carter dodges a bucketful of confetti during the Harlem Globetrotters' annual White House visit

1987: Ronald Reagan regales the Mets with more cocaine stories than they can handle

1992: Duke forward Grant Hill feels like a complete idiot for bringing a big bowl of fruit salad to the ceremony

1999: After being told President Clinton is "very busy," the WNBA champion Houston Comets are greeted by Secretary of Transportation Rodney Slater

2004: Although the Marlins are the reigning World Series champs, George W. Bush invites the Texas Rangers for a visit instead

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