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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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CIA's Authorized Torture Practices

The New York Times uncovered memoranda of secret Justice Department legal opinions regarding methods of interrogating enemy combatants. What interrogation practices were deemed allowable?

Middle seat in coach on flight between Jacksonville, FL and Las Vegas, with stopover in Chicago

Setting prisoner atop dunk tank, asking one question, tossing baseball

Repeating everything suspect says in mocking, nasally voice

Using the Flegamajunka Technique, which is pretty much anything the interrogator needs it to be

Conducting the interrogation while eating a really big, delicious piece of cheesecake

Water/sand/sawdust/
cobra/concrete/glue/vodka-boarding

Anything featured on the previous night's episode of 24

Asking politely

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