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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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CIA's Authorized Torture Practices

The New York Times uncovered memoranda of secret Justice Department legal opinions regarding methods of interrogating enemy combatants. What interrogation practices were deemed allowable?

Middle seat in coach on flight between Jacksonville, FL and Las Vegas, with stopover in Chicago

Setting prisoner atop dunk tank, asking one question, tossing baseball

Repeating everything suspect says in mocking, nasally voice

Using the Flegamajunka Technique, which is pretty much anything the interrogator needs it to be

Conducting the interrogation while eating a really big, delicious piece of cheesecake

Water/sand/sawdust/
cobra/concrete/glue/vodka-boarding

Anything featured on the previous night's episode of 24

Asking politely

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