College Sports Cutbacks

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Vol 45 Issue 19

NASA Running Out Of Fuel

NASA is running short of plutonium-238, the fuel needed in deep space missions, because nuclear warhead production has slowed dramatically since the...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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College Sports Cutbacks

As the economy founders, we look at some of the ways the athletic departments of our nation's universities are tightening their belts:

Fresno State: Even the 2008 College World Series champs will be forced to play the entire season with only two bases

Boston University: Financially stable after receiving the vast riches that come with winning the NCAA Hockey Championship

Ohio State: After outstanding plays, Buckeyes football players will now receive Chiquita banana stickers for their helmets

USC: Women's gymnastics canceled following 77 percent rise in cost of scrunchies

Virginia: The JumboTron at Scott Stadium is being downgraded in size and pixel quality to a RegularTron

Michigan: Should be $11.5 billion in the black after next month's "Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is" alumni festival

Wisconsin: Beloved mascot Bucky Badger must suffer through yet another year without pants

UNC: Selling off Tyler Hansbrough for parts

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