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How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

Comic Book Movies Dominate Summer Box Office

With The Avengers having taken in $1.5 billion worldwide, and the final installment of the Batman trilogy due in theaters this month, movie companies are rushing to option more comic book properties. Here are some currently in production:

  • Wizard Of Id: Christopher Nolan directs this gritty take on the corrupt world of Id, a medieval land ruled with an iron fist by a corrupt tyrant (Peter Dinklage)
  • Captain America 2: Marvel gives audiences exactly what they want: a two-hour-long montage of Captain America struggling in vain to grasp modern technology
  • Wonder Woman: Someone went through Joss Whedon's trash, found some notes, and ran with it; no invisible jet—she’s basically a really strong Mary Tyler Moore
  • Bean’s Crazy Fruit Stand: Based on the famous ’20s comic, this modern-day telling shows the adventures of young go-getter Billy Beans and the hazards of selling fruit next to a whorehouse
  • Kir-B: A Golden and Silver Age comic book artist, who tragically perished before his works were turned into blockbusters, is revived as an invincible cyborg who takes his revenge on the evil corporation that earned billions on his creations
  • Plastic Man’s Ocean Adventure: Trapped in the form of six-pack rings, Plastic Man wraps himself tightly around the neck of a pelican and embarks on a magical journey across the Atlantic
  • My Comic Book, By Tony: Eight-year-old Tony Janson’s graphic tale of a post-podiatrist-appointment trip to get ice cream comes to life
  • Prez: Come hell or high water, you're going to have a $250 million production of this 1973 DC Comics series about a teen president of the United States, even if the original comic was a total failure, because that's how we do it now, dammit

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