Comic Book Movies Dominate Summer Box Office

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Vol 48 Issue 29

The Pretending Hour

NBC 9:00 p.m. EDT/8:00 p.m. CDT Two people dress up like investigators and pretend to track a made-up murderer with the help of costumes, fake guns, and names different than their birth names

Big Money!

Game Show 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Host Kirk Newcloud counts and stacks $100,000 cash on a table before an exultant studio audience.

Microsoft Announces First-Ever Quarterly Loss

Software giant Microsoft reported a quarterly loss for the first time since the company went public in 1986, losing $492 million in the most recent quarter due to a major write-down in its online division.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Family

Kids Love When Mom Sad Enough To Just Order Pizza

FORT WORTH, TX—Saying they get their hopes up anytime they notice her looking particularly downhearted, siblings Paulo and Marisa Hernandez told reporters Wednesday they love it when their mother is sad enough to just order pizza.

Comic Book Movies Dominate Summer Box Office

With The Avengers having taken in $1.5 billion worldwide, and the final installment of the Batman trilogy due in theaters this month, movie companies are rushing to option more comic book properties. Here are some currently in production:

  • Wizard Of Id: Christopher Nolan directs this gritty take on the corrupt world of Id, a medieval land ruled with an iron fist by a corrupt tyrant (Peter Dinklage)
  • Captain America 2: Marvel gives audiences exactly what they want: a two-hour-long montage of Captain America struggling in vain to grasp modern technology
  • Wonder Woman: Someone went through Joss Whedon's trash, found some notes, and ran with it; no invisible jet—she’s basically a really strong Mary Tyler Moore
  • Bean’s Crazy Fruit Stand: Based on the famous ’20s comic, this modern-day telling shows the adventures of young go-getter Billy Beans and the hazards of selling fruit next to a whorehouse
  • Kir-B: A Golden and Silver Age comic book artist, who tragically perished before his works were turned into blockbusters, is revived as an invincible cyborg who takes his revenge on the evil corporation that earned billions on his creations
  • Plastic Man’s Ocean Adventure: Trapped in the form of six-pack rings, Plastic Man wraps himself tightly around the neck of a pelican and embarks on a magical journey across the Atlantic
  • My Comic Book, By Tony: Eight-year-old Tony Janson’s graphic tale of a post-podiatrist-appointment trip to get ice cream comes to life
  • Prez: Come hell or high water, you're going to have a $250 million production of this 1973 DC Comics series about a teen president of the United States, even if the original comic was a total failure, because that's how we do it now, dammit
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