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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Company Paying For Bad Drugs

Last week, British drug manufacturer GlaxoSmithKline agreed to pay $750 million to settle civil and criminal complaints alleging that for years the company knowingly sold bad, contaminated, and ineffective drugs. Here are some issues with the products it sold:

  • Paxil: Was found to be flawed when a number of patients reported they were still aware of their problems
  • Tagamet: Studies have shown this acid-reflux drug has potentially dangerous side effects when combined with aspirin, Tylenol, or water
  • Daraprim: Cheap orange gelcap knockoff left Cheetos-type stains if held in hand for more than three seconds
  • Imitrex: Tips of old screws clearly sticking out of most pills
  • Coreg: Long marketed as a heart-health treatment, this product actually proved to exist only in pen, notepad, and stress-ball form
  • Dexedrine: While this simple medication of pure amphetamine continues to effectively treat ADHD and narcolepsy, it also caused 47 percent of patients in clinical trials to stay awake for five straight days listening to Lou Reed's Berlin over and over
  • Avodart: Researchers admitted that they just dumped a bunch of leftover chemicals in a beaker and sold it as-is
  • Professor Bailiwick's All-Purpose Cranial Liniment: This topically applied medicine failed to live up to claims of preventing typhus, consumption, Injun magic, and deficiency of manly character

More from this section

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

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