adBlockCheck

Business

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
End Of Section
  • More News

Congress Working On Credit Card Reform

The House Financial Services Committee has approved a "Credit Cardholders' Bill of Rights" designed to control the detrimental habits of credit card companies. Here are some of the reforms suggested:

Companies must offer more badass card designs, such as a Sherman tank or the Motörhead insignia

When you've gone over your limit, someone from the credit card company will come hang out at your place to prevent you from going out

Agents can no longer use the phrase "it's like free money" when describing their product.

Card issuers not allowed to even imply that the "platinum" designation holds any sort of prestige

Lenders should make it clearer from the outset that they actually want their money repaid

All things will be made less appealing to buy

Credit cards must feature a picture of your parents looking disapproving on them

Zero percent interest on stuff bought while obviously drunk

More from this section

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close