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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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Cooking For Large Groups

As the warmer weather approaches, many people will open their houses to larger dinner parties. Here are some ways to take the sting out of cooking for a large group of people:

  • Nobody likes to be left out, so before you entertain outdoors, make sure to contact all your neighbors and tell them a big flood’s coming and the neighborhood is being evacuated
  • Hail a passing taco truck
  • Salads are a quick and easy dish if you don't give a shit about your guests
  • Put out a tub of wine and a shitload of straws
  • Take time to imagine having sex with everyone at your party: When guests arrive, have sex with them for real, and afterward, enjoy a silent dinner
  • Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist
  • Most pies are apple
  • Only let the first five guests who show up eat
  • Make the food taste real good; people like that
  • Why not try crumbling a few bowel-suppressant caplets into the meal so that those monsters don't clog up your toiletthis time?
  • Choose one color of food and stick with it
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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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