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Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Defense Bill Features Less Waste

The defense spending bill that President Obama signed last week eliminated several programs deemed wasteful, including a presidential helicopter fleet replacement program that was six years behind schedule and more than $5 billion over budget. Here are some of the other programs that were cut:

  • $5 billion—Trojan yak containing thousands of American soldiers to be sent into Taliban strongholds in Afghanistan
  • $4 billion—Electric planes that run on two-mile extension cords
  • $12—Headphones on Air Force One
  • $7 billion—Genetically engineered grenade orchard
  • $1.7 million—Free tampons for lady soldiers
  • $245 million—Project to turn Major Dad into a full-length feature film
  • $3.8 million—Torture rooms "just to study the effects of torture and nothing else"
  • $45 million—Pizza-patterned fatigues
  • $28 billion—U.S. Coast Guard

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