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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Democratic Candidates Turn On Clinton

In the latest debate, Democratic presidential candidates singled out Hillary Clinton as a subject for criticism. Here are some of their critiques:

Dodged military service in Vietnam

Sounds an awful lot like former first lady Hillary Clinton

Has no plan for dealing with a nuclear-capable Portugal

Makes Dennis Kucinich cry

Exploits America’s deep-rooted penchant for female presidents

Doesn’t like pizza; who doesn’t like pizza?

Keeps blasting air horn when anyone mentions her war vote

Holds a totally unfair double-digit lead in polls

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