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Democrats Hold Annual Retreat

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Democrats Hold Annual Retreat

Last weekend, House Democrats convened in Maryland and met with Vice President Joe Biden and President Barack Obama for their annual retreat. Here are some highlights of the meeting:

  • iMovie slide show of when health care reform bill passed
  • Broke into groups to write skits about Social Security reform
  • Seminar on how to exploit gay marriage laws to legally marry a dog
  • Determined where the safest seats are in the new Republican-controlled cafeteria
  • Drew straws to see who would shoot over to the rez for a couple cartons
  • Motion to further determine the reasons why Rep. Yvette Clarke (D-NY) can't seem to find a good man
  • Made sure everyone was on board with plan to clap really hard at everything Obama said during State of the Union address
  • Discussion on how much they miss Sen. Feingold

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