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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Details Of The NFL Bounty Scandal

The NFL’s bounty investigation has triggered one of the biggest scandals in league history, and it’s no simple matter. Onion Sports breaks down the most important points:

  • Then-Saints defensive coordinator came up with the plan as a tax dodge when his old system of fining players for leaving opponents unhurt generated too much income
  • The 31 NFL defensive coordinators who are not Gregg Williams heard the words "NFL bounty scandal" and began sweating
  • Unfortunately, no Saints player was able to collect the $500,000 bounty offered to anyone who destroyed that stupid pirate ship in Tampa Bay's stadium
  • Some players felt the bounties were cruel and wrongheaded, as the bonus for player death was only $500
  • When the bounty program was suspended out of fear of discovery during the 2010 playoffs, Saints defensive players went on a tackling strike against Marshawn Lynch and the Seahawks in the Wild Card round
  • One of the few positive aspects of the bounty system was that Saints players volunteered to brutally injure middle school bullies free of charge as part of the NFL's United Way initiative
  • Pool to injure Brett Favre was actually funded by fans across the country, every other team in the league, and the NFL itself

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