Detroit Ending 24-Hour Police Station Access

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Vol 48 Issue 02

CVS Roadshow

PBS 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST Store manager Robyn Fisher provides an up-close-and-personal tour of the Destin, FL store, which stacks its Garnier Fructis in a different endcap than the Miramar Beach location.

Inadvertent Ice Road Truckers

History 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST After taking a wrong turn out of Calgary, trucker Dale Bronson eventually realizes he's hauled his load of Lady Jordache sporting apparel much too far north.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Energy

Detroit Ending 24-Hour Police Station Access

Beginning this week, the City of Detroit will shut the doors of its police stations to the public for 16 hours a day. Here are other ways the cash-strapped city is saving money:

  • Replacing the east side’s 11 functional streetlights with compact fluorescent bulbs
  • Emergency response subcontracted to former Motown session musicians
  • City now leaving all its trash outside Cleveland for pickup
  • 911 will secretly change its number to 912 to lighten call volume for the dispatchers
  • Food bank will now be stocked solely with octopuses collected from the rink during Red Wings playoff games
  • Only one homicide to be reported per day, via lottery system
  • Fourth of July fireworks just dumb kid popping red paper bag
  • $100 Symbolism Exploitation Fee on all tourists photographing urban decay
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