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Disney Announces 'Star Wars 7'

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‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.
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Disney Announces 'Star Wars 7'

Upon acquiring Lucasfilm Ltd. last week, the Walt Disney Co. announced it was making a seventh episode of the Star Wars franchise for release in 2015. Here is what viewers can expect in the Disney-produced sequel:

  • Phil Collins to sing opening crawl
  • French kisses between siblings to be cut by one-third or more
  • Ewok babies; also, Yoda babies, Wookiee babies, and droid babies
  • Sassy fairy droid that you feel bad for being attracted to
  • A senile, gray-furred Chewbacca
  • A wizard casts a spell that turns R2-D2 into a real boy
  • Randy Newman–penned theme song called “Long, Long Ago We Were Friends”
  • There’s no delicate way to say this so here it is: lots of hot 12-year-olds

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