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Entertainment

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Disney Employee Arrested In Insider-Trading Scandal

The secretary for Disney's head of corporate communications was arrested for attempting to sell business secrets—including a rumored sale of ABC—for the purposes of insider trading.

Here are some of the other secrets she was trying to sell:

  • Babies born in Disneyland stay in Disneyland
  • Pixar movies are now self-aware and have been animating themselves since Ratatouille
  • The Lion King on Broadway will be two-for-one in the spring of 2012!!!
  • Disney employs hundreds of thousands of undocumented enchanted broom workers
  • Recent market research shows awareness of Chip 'n' Dale highest among meth users
  • Tips for landing even the most elusive character autographs
  • Company covered up 1955 fairy-dust explosion that killed nine chemical imagineers
  • Location of Main Street, USA's secret glory hole

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