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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Disney Employee Arrested In Insider-Trading Scandal

The secretary for Disney's head of corporate communications was arrested for attempting to sell business secrets—including a rumored sale of ABC—for the purposes of insider trading.

Here are some of the other secrets she was trying to sell:

  • Babies born in Disneyland stay in Disneyland
  • Pixar movies are now self-aware and have been animating themselves since Ratatouille
  • The Lion King on Broadway will be two-for-one in the spring of 2012!!!
  • Disney employs hundreds of thousands of undocumented enchanted broom workers
  • Recent market research shows awareness of Chip 'n' Dale highest among meth users
  • Tips for landing even the most elusive character autographs
  • Company covered up 1955 fairy-dust explosion that killed nine chemical imagineers
  • Location of Main Street, USA's secret glory hole

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