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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Donaghy's Warning Signs

Many NBA fans suspected that something was wrong with NBA officiating long before the Donaghy scandal broke. Official review of the games he worked reveals the following suspicious behavior on Donaghy's part:

Presided over first shutout in NBA history

Called a three-second violation on Shaquille O'Neal while O'Neal was out for three weeks with a hamstring injury

Once counted all the points scored by Suns gorilla mascot during halftime show toward game total in order to bring score within 11 points

Told friends that his favorite movie would be Forget Paris if Billy Crystal's NBA referee character was secretly working for the Mafia

Was reportedly seen sprinting off the court in an attempt to escape a "fan" who had been giving him the throat-slashing signal the entire game

Would sometimes tell players that, if they missed free throws, "they'll kill me and my children"

Usually seemed distracted while refereeing, as if performing complex mathematical calculations in his head

During crucial playoff games, Donaghy was regularly seen kneeling in front of scorer's table with his eyes closed and fingers crossed, chanting "Please please please please"

Joined the on-court celebration when the Spurs won the Finals

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