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Early-Season NBA Power Rankings

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Grievances Brought Up With Powerless Supervisor

GRAND RAPIDS, MI—Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Early-Season NBA Power Rankings

With the NBA season underway, scouts have made their first team rankings. Exhaustive capsule evaluations follow.

  1. Orlando Magic: With a 3-0 record, the Magic are on pace to go 450-0, presuming that this season lasts until 2015
  2. Boston Celtics: No team looks as dominant as the Celtics. Then again, we haven't watched any games since the Celtics' season opener, so we could be wrong
  3. San Antonio Spurs: Easily in the top five, probably even a championship favorite, though we almost forgot to put them on this list
  4. Golden State Warriors: Yes, they're 0-2, but we've got a good feeling about them
  5. Trail Blazers: Team headed in right direction after making a number of off-season pickups to help Greg Oden, including 10,000 yards of gauze, a defibrillator, and a kidney dialysis machine
  6. Atlanta Hawks: This team was built to go very deep into the regular season
  7. Utah Jazz: With Carlos Boozer's future with the team uncertain and just the future in general being uncertain, who knows if the Jazz will be better or worse than 9th? Who knows if there will even be a Utah Jazz next year? You know? Do you ever think about stuff like that?
  8. Toronto Raptors: Beat the Cavs in their home opener, but that's it—everything's downhill from there. Don't expect this team to live through the season

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