INDIANAPOLIS—Saying he was really starting to appreciate the group’s sound, local 37-year-old Ed Johnstone reportedly made an absolutely heartbreaking last-ditch effort this week to get into a new band.
LOS ANGELES—Telling reporters Monday he felt significant pressure to ensure the project lived up to the high expectations of people around the world, screenwriter Michael Wilder, who is currently adapting the board game Candy Land into a full-length feature film, is reportedly under the impression fans are counting on him to get this right.
This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.
SANDUSKY, OH—Immediately standing up from his seat and striding quickly past other visitors as soon as the snack was over, Cedar Point amusement park patron Paul Matazaro reportedly raced back to the end of the line for another funnel cake Thursday.
WASHINGTON—In recognition of the 1981 live album’s contribution to the metal pioneers’ legacy, the Library of Congress announced Tuesday that No Sleep ’Til Hammersmith had been added to the National Motörhead Registry.
CHANHASSEN, MN—Ending rampant speculation regarding the extent of the late musician’s catalogue of unreleased recordings, the executors of Prince’s estate announced Monday that the performer’s famed vault in his Paisley Park residence sadly contains 37,000 hours of Billy Joel covers.
NEW YORK—Following on the heels of the surprise release of her new album, Lemonade, over the weekend, Beyoncé unexpectedly debuted a brand-new song Monday about how purchasing a subscription to the streaming music service Tidal is the most empowering action a woman can take, sources confirmed.
OCALA, FL—Speaking somberly while staring off into the distance, local resident Mike Budd, a man who regularly wears tinted, wraparound Oakley sunglasses upside down on the back of his head, told reporters Monday that he is still recovering from the 2013 death of actor Paul Walker.
WASHINGTON—Telling reporters they were unable to convey the full extent of their gratitude that the plot of the hit HBO series had finally surpassed the events of the novels, citizens across the country expressed immense relief Sunday that all the insufferable little Game Of Thrones fans would no longer be able to lord the books over everyone else just trying to enjoy the show.
FREMONT, CA—In an effort to refresh his memory ahead of the upcoming season of the popular fantasy series, local Game Of Thrones fan Bryan Parker reportedly rewatched past episodes of the show this week to remind himself of what all the characters’ breasts look like.