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Brita Unveils New In-Throat Water Filters

OAKLAND, CA—Representatives from Brita, the nation’s bestselling brand of household water filtration products, held a press event Wednesday to unveil a new line of filters designed to be installed directly inside users’ throats.

Video Game Henchmen Plan Meetup Around Explosive Barrels

LEVEL 5—A group of video game henchmen patrolling the warehouse hideout of their criminal mastermind boss informed reporters Wednesday of their upcoming plan to take a brief break from making their rounds to meet up around a stack of five highly explosive barrels.

Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On

BOSTON—Identifying a significant factor contributing to the development of the mental health disorder, researchers from Harvard Medical School published a groundbreaking study Thursday that reportedly links clinical depression to getting dunked on.

How Dating Sites Match Their Users

With millions of people opting to use online dating sites to meet new potential romantic partners, many are wondering how computer algorithms can enhance their chances of finding “the one.” Here are the steps that dating sites take to match compatible users

How To File A Patent

In the United States, anyone who believes they have invented something truly unique is welcome to fill out a patent application to protect it, but it’s often a complicated and laborious process. Here are the steps involved in securing a patent

EPA Urges Nation To Develop New Air Source

WASHINGTON—Citing the hazardous levels of carbon dioxide and other pollutants accumulating in the atmosphere, officials from the Environmental Protection Agency urged the nation this week to develop a new air source.
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2009 saw a number of eye-popping new gadgets and devices available on the consumer market. Here are some of the ones that really delivered:

Remote-Controlled Chocolate Fountain—Fresh dipping chocolate now ready and flowing whenever you're ready to get up off the couch.
Google G1—Users searching for specific contact information will be delighted by this hip new smartphone's "I'm Feeling Lucky" feature, which dials a random publicly listed phone number.
Wii Fit—Provides workouts for your fat avatar.
Amazon U2 Edition Kindle—Housed in a sleek black-and-red casing, this electronic reading device comes preloaded with U2's favorite books.
Canon PowerShot E1—This remarkable new device essentially freezes a moment in time, displays that singular moment visually on a small screen, and enables one to re-access that moment at any time one wishes, either using that device or a larger device with a looking-window attached.
The Apple Mini—This new miniature version of the major corporation Apple can be stored in a corporate headquarters the size of a matchbox.
Panasonic Toughbook—A laptop so thick and tough that it will scare the living shit out of you.
Hasbro A.M.P. Robot—Proves once and for all that listening to music is a lot better with a dancing robot than without a dancing robot.

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