European Debt Crisis Solutions

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Vol 48 Issue 29

The Pretending Hour

NBC 9:00 p.m. EDT/8:00 p.m. CDT Two people dress up like investigators and pretend to track a made-up murderer with the help of costumes, fake guns, and names different than their birth names

Big Money!

Game Show 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Host Kirk Newcloud counts and stacks $100,000 cash on a table before an exultant studio audience.

Microsoft Announces First-Ever Quarterly Loss

Software giant Microsoft reported a quarterly loss for the first time since the company went public in 1986, losing $492 million in the most recent quarter due to a major write-down in its online division.
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TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Advertising

  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

European Debt Crisis Solutions

As the debt crisis continues to batter Europe’s finances, many countries, including Greece, Spain, and Italy, have been forced to impose severe austerity measures. Here are some of the efforts being taken to tighten budgets:

  • Austria: $5 surcharge every time anyone in the world watches The Sound Of Music
  • Italy: Suspending all sewage and trash pickup services, effective 1993
  • Greece: Government to lay off thousands of government-employed antigovernment protesters
  • The Netherlands: Releasing part two of Anne Frank’s diary
  • Finland: Increasing one of those European-sounding taxes, like the GATT, or the VAT, or the SCRAT, or whatever
  • Andorra: Tourism board charged with really getting the word out there about Andorra.
  • Poland: World War II–related tours now cost the usual price plus whatever is in one’s pockets and also that watch
  • Portugal: Quietly breaking away from Spain in the middle of the night and floating across the Atlantic in search of a better life
  • Germany: Subtly reminding the rest of Europe what happened last time they faced hyperinflation
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