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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Events Leading Up To N. Korea Nuclear Test

Two weeks ago, North Korea detonated a nuclear bomb. Here is the series of developments that led up to this test:

  • 1986: Kim Jong-Il tells thugs in a local bar he'll "show them all"
  • 1993: North Korea realizes they have all the components needed to build nuclear bombs just lying around
  • 1996: Kim Jong-Il decides individual murders take too long
  • 1998: Military begins digging really big holes
  • 2002: Fact that Bush includes North Korea in "Axis Of Evil" encourages them to act accordingly
  • 2003: Nation starts ducking all of CIA's phone calls
  • 2005: Prior to U.N. weapons inspections, Kim Jong-Il orders all bombs to be hidden behind his various portraits throughout country
  • 2006: Government conducts experiments to determine how long an entire nation can go without food
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