adBlockCheck

Recent News

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
End Of Section
  • More News

Everybody's Working For The Weekend

All across America, millions of people are toiling long hours just to make it to the respite of Saturday and Sunday. why are so many of us working fo the weekend?
All across America, millions of people are toiling long hours just to make it to the respite of Saturday and Sunday. why are so many of us working fo the weekend?

All across America, millions of people are toiling long hours just to make it to the respite of Saturday and Sunday. why are so many of us working fo the weekend?

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close