adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

Expensive Medical Treatments

Many Americans with life-threatening diseases have been refusing new medical treatments, saying the high costs outweigh the benefits. Here are a few commonly rejected treatments:

  • Zero-gravity triple-bypass surgery
  • Bed rest in Langham Hotel's Infinity Suite
  • 56-thousand-dollarectomy
  • Quadriplegia pills
  • Cryogenically freezing faulty organs inside patient until cure is found
  • Artificial mechanical heart
  • Burt Bacharach–serenaded chemotherapy session
  • Insulin

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close