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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Facebook's Popular Applications

One of the factors contributing to the overwhelming popularity of Facebook is that third parties are allowed to create applications for the site. Here are some of the features that have made Facebook a force to contend with:

Halloween Picture Alert: Tells you to change your profile picture after your Halloween one has been left on there for too long

Shove: Members can "shove," with varying degrees of intensity, other members who are really starting to annoy them

Carbon Offset Offsetter: With every click, a 6-year-old child in India is forced to dig up 50 pounds of coal and set it on fire

MySpace Layouts and Skins: Make your Facebook page look so much like MySpace that you'll wonder why you joined yet another social network

Thick as a Brickster: Plays the entirety of Jethro Tull's Thick As A Brick album

Ad space: Allows you to check out really awesome advertisements from the coolest companies, free of charge

Jesus Christ, I Wish You Would Fucking Die LOL!: Lighthearted way to inform your coworkers and dull college classmates that you do not wish to play Scrabulous with them

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