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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Failed ESPN Shows

For every Around The Horn, ESPN has produced a Stump The Schwab. Some other properties from the Worldwide Leader that never made the cut:

  • Engolfed: Scott Van Pelt immerses viewers in the week's latest golf news while buried neck-deep in a bunker
  • Three-Point Land: A kid's show that takes place in the mystical land "beyond the arc," starring Jared Dudley and Mo Williams
  • E:720: A panel of reporters dig so deep into their stories, they realize it's all just a game and none of this really matters in the grand scheme of things
  • Jim Rome's Burning Sensation: As in other incarnations of his programs, the often controversial and hard-to-watch host winces in pain and lets out a series of guttural sounds while clutching his crotch
  • Fists In Focus: Prominent boxers discuss their favorite techniques for tightly closing their hands and give punching demonstrations by pounding the shit out of the studio audience
  • The Bronx Is Fine: An eight-part miniseries in which the 1996 Yankees don't really have to overcome much to win the World Series and America is doing well—really well, actually
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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