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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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'Family Circus' Creator Dead

Bil Keane, whose comic strip The Family Circus has appeared in newspapers since 1960, passed away last week at the age of 89. Here is a brief history of the strip and its creator:

  • 1962 PJ, the youngest child, is introduced in a particularly graphic birth panel
  • 1967 Keane hears "Purple Haze" for the first time, but the experience exerts absolutely no influence on his work
  • 1970 The kids get a new pet when they're allowed to keep Sam, a stray dog, instead of being forced to drown him in a burlap sack as Keane had originally planned
  • 1974 The now legendary "Daddy, do you want me to eat your pudding so you won't have to?" panel debuts to universal acclaim
  • 1975 Mere days before the Fall of Saigon, Billy is shot on the Cambodian border, one of the last U.S. casualties of the Vietnam conflict
  • 1977 Keane bumps into Love Is… creator Kim Casali at a cartoonist's convention and beats the shit out of her
  • 1982 While exploring each other's differences, 3-year-old Jeffy and a neighbor girl discover he has a shoehorn and she has a bucket
  • 1991 When new character "Cousin Greg" proves to be unpopular, the family abandons him at the ice cream parlor
  • 1994 Keane overhears someone say, "I feel lonely," and thinks to himself, hey, that's a comic right there
  • 1995 The strip is revealed to take place in an alternate universe where Dwight Eisenhower has been elected president 11 times

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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