adBlockCheck

Famous Locker Room Speeches

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Surprises

  • Email From Mom Sent At 5:32 A.M.

    DENVER—After waking up and finding the message waiting on his computer, local man Drew Swanson confirmed to reporters Thursday that his mother had sent him an email at 5:32 a.m.

Famous Locker Room Speeches

Onion Sports examines some of the greatest and most inspiring locker room speeches of all time.

  • Michael Jordan: “Guys, I’m feeling really sick, so please don’t pass me the ball, all right?”
  • Muhammad Ali: “Joe Frazier, you make me very angry.”
  • Sidney Crosby: “Let’s win this bed frame for all the laundry bookshelf wintery Hanoi keeper skate dot eight English fend.”
  • Gary Kubiak: “Isn’t it nice here in the locker room? Here where no one is screaming at you and throwing things? I think it’s nice. Let’s make this last forever.”
  • Pete Rose: “I want everyone giving it their full 60 percent today, for all four innings.”
  • Sean Payton: “All right, everyone, we’re about to head into the second half, and you all know what that means. That’s right, it’s the double-bucks bonus round! That means all player bounties are doubled, and the jackpot for their quarterback now stands at a whopping $25,000!”
  • U.S. High Jump Coach Cliff Rovelto: “If you take just one thing from this speech, make it this: Jump very high. A thousand different things might happen once you’re out there under the lights, but just remember, jump very, very high in the air.”
  • Joe Paterno: “Heads high, boys. Show your pride! Let them know how proud you are to be a Penn State Nittany Lion, because—and I can’t go into specifics here—this is almost certainly your last chance.”
  • Bill Belichick: “Now, Lucifer, guide my hand! Shear the briar from the vine, shear the suckling child from the mother! The red hour is upon us! Ave Satanas! Ave Satanas!”
  • Bobby Knight: “Just try your best out there, guys. I believe in you.”

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close