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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Famous Locker Room Speeches

Onion Sports examines some of the greatest and most inspiring locker room speeches of all time.

  • Michael Jordan: “Guys, I’m feeling really sick, so please don’t pass me the ball, all right?”
  • Muhammad Ali: “Joe Frazier, you make me very angry.”
  • Sidney Crosby: “Let’s win this bed frame for all the laundry bookshelf wintery Hanoi keeper skate dot eight English fend.”
  • Gary Kubiak: “Isn’t it nice here in the locker room? Here where no one is screaming at you and throwing things? I think it’s nice. Let’s make this last forever.”
  • Pete Rose: “I want everyone giving it their full 60 percent today, for all four innings.”
  • Sean Payton: “All right, everyone, we’re about to head into the second half, and you all know what that means. That’s right, it’s the double-bucks bonus round! That means all player bounties are doubled, and the jackpot for their quarterback now stands at a whopping $25,000!”
  • U.S. High Jump Coach Cliff Rovelto: “If you take just one thing from this speech, make it this: Jump very high. A thousand different things might happen once you’re out there under the lights, but just remember, jump very, very high in the air.”
  • Joe Paterno: “Heads high, boys. Show your pride! Let them know how proud you are to be a Penn State Nittany Lion, because—and I can’t go into specifics here—this is almost certainly your last chance.”
  • Bill Belichick: “Now, Lucifer, guide my hand! Shear the briar from the vine, shear the suckling child from the mother! The red hour is upon us! Ave Satanas! Ave Satanas!”
  • Bobby Knight: “Just try your best out there, guys. I believe in you.”
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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