Features Of George W. Bush Presidential Library

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Features Of George W. Bush Presidential Library

The technologically advanced and highly interactive George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum will open to the public on May 1 in Dallas. Here are some of the notable features of the museum:

  • Interactive world map that lets visitors create their own Axis of Evil
  • Visitors can ride the fun Approval Rating Slide all the way from Bush’s first year in office down to the last
  • Exhibition of the best Bush effigies from all around the world
  • Entire wing devoted to quick, effective federal response to Tropical Storm Arlene
  • Tastefully done oil-on-canvas painting of a nude Laura Bush
  • Free “Museum Accomplished” button handed out to all visitors after making their way through just the first of 25 rooms of the museum
  • A replica of Saddam’s nuclear warheads
  • Building’s total area is 800 square feet