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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Features Of ‘Madden 25’

With Electronic Arts releasing Madden NFL 25 this week, Onion Sports examines the new and innovative features of the popular football video game series.

  • Over 30 new running moves that you’ll never figure out how to use
  • Four-player cooperative mode lets each user control one of quarterback’s limbs
  • Comes preloaded with 15 NFL franchises; other 17 available for purchase at just $4.99 per team
  • Controller rumbles every time a player thinks about suicide
  • Credits featuring full bios of entire software development team are displayed before every game
  • Gorier finishing moves
  • More realistic goatee on Carolina Panthers assistant strength and conditioning coach Jason Benguche
  • Injured players can now be seen on the sidelines denying that they’re experiencing concussion-like symptoms
  • All your favorite Jacksonville Jaguars
  • Return of highly popular feature from last year’s game that allows players to punch and kick Jay Cutler repeatedly after a sack
  • Expanded Create-A-Player features 10 post-career seasons where players must navigate the pitfalls of poor investment opportunities, chronic injuries, and the NFL pension system
  • Gamers now fined $50,000 for particularly vicious hits
  • Unlimited footballs

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