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Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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Features Of Motorola’s New Moto X Smartphone

All right, so, The Onion would like to sincerely apologize for not putting together this infographic about the new Moto X smartphone, since we frankly did not expect anyone to actually click on it. This post seemed like a good idea when originally conceived, but when it came down to actually doing research and then writing and editing the post, it just didn’t seem like a wise use of company time and resources. Ultimately, we felt that no one would really want to read about the Moto X—after all, this is not a new iPhone or a product with a comparable sense of global anticipation. There are high expectations for web traffic here at The Onion, and, to be completely honest, this hasn’t been the best traffic week (or month, for that matter), so we decided to devote our efforts to posts we thought would actually be viewed by readers. Now, you might be asking yourself why we would even publish the article at all if we knew no one was going to click on it, and that’s a reasonable question. A totally reasonable question. Unfortunately, we just don’t have a good answer to that question right now. Things are pretty confusing around here.

Anyway, should you still want to read about the Moto X, we suggest following this link to the tech blog TechCrunch, which will in all likelihood have some sort of comprehensive breakdown of this new Motorola mobile device: http://techcrunch.com

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