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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Features Of The Apple Car

After dominating sales of smartphones, tablets, and other electronics, Apple is reportedly secretly designing its first car, code-named Titan. Here are some features of Apple’s rumored car:

  • Windshield features four times as many pixels as reality
  • Full vertical integration with Apple Gasoline
  • Driver prompted to sign into iCloud before each gear shift
  • Compatible with most major roads
  • Recommends new driving speeds based on user’s past favorites
  • Sleek, unobtrusive airbags
  • Cup holder
  • Windshield cracks easily, though car typically still works fine afterward
  • Sticker price of $85,000 drops to $199 with two-year Verizon contract
  • Wheels turn into rainbow pinwheels whenever car stalls
  • Lightweight but powerful enough to careen across six lanes of traffic and through guardrails of overpass
  • Comes with couple of cool Apple stickers

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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