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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Features Of The New espnW.com

Women make up a quarter of the ESPN audience, and now the network has just soft-launched a new website for female sports fans. Here are some of the planned features:

  • Highlights that feature an explanation of the rules, what's happening, and who everyone is
  • Bill Simmons' column will run utterly unchanged
  • Team-by-team sensitivity ratings
  • Supportive code keeps the site from bouncing up and down as it scrolls
  • Pretty much the exact same amount of Tom Brady coverage
  • Message boards where a bunch of chicks can dyke it out like crazy
  • Community feature where site users can discuss goings-on, share stories, and then secretly trash on each other in private chats
  • Somewhat less male-on-male eroticism

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