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Features Of The New espnW.com

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Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Features Of The New espnW.com

Women make up a quarter of the ESPN audience, and now the network has just soft-launched a new website for female sports fans. Here are some of the planned features:

  • Highlights that feature an explanation of the rules, what's happening, and who everyone is
  • Bill Simmons' column will run utterly unchanged
  • Team-by-team sensitivity ratings
  • Supportive code keeps the site from bouncing up and down as it scrolls
  • Pretty much the exact same amount of Tom Brady coverage
  • Message boards where a bunch of chicks can dyke it out like crazy
  • Community feature where site users can discuss goings-on, share stories, and then secretly trash on each other in private chats
  • Somewhat less male-on-male eroticism

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