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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Female Firsts In Sports

With her IndyCar victory, Danica Patrick became the first woman to win a race in a top-level racing series. Onion Sports salutes her achievement and that of other groundbreaking sportswomen:

1950: Babe Didrikson becomes the first woman to inspire a "First Woman" feature in a newspaper

1973: Billie Jean King becomes the first woman to beat an alcoholic 55-year-old man in a wheelchair at a game of tennis

1975: Kathy Whitworth's 88 career victories result in her selection to the World Golf Hall of Fame, although she has to be inducted from the ladies podium

1976: Janet Guthrie becomes the first driver in a NASCAR race to stop and ask for directions

1985: Libby Riddles becomes the first woman to win the Iditarod by using the unconventional strategy of having her sled drawn by terrified cats

1993: Rosie O'Donnell becomes the first fat woman to portray a fictional fat female athlete in A League Of Their Own

2000: Cheryl Bachman becomes the first woman in history to understand the Infield Fly Rule

2005: Lisa Leslie breaks boundaries by showing that a woman can dunk a basketball if she puts her mind to it, dreams big, and sort of lets go of the ball a little bit and guides it over the rim while allowing her body language to suggest that it was a dunk

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