adBlockCheck

Sports

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
End Of Section
  • More News

Female Firsts In Sports

With her IndyCar victory, Danica Patrick became the first woman to win a race in a top-level racing series. Onion Sports salutes her achievement and that of other groundbreaking sportswomen:

1950: Babe Didrikson becomes the first woman to inspire a "First Woman" feature in a newspaper

1973: Billie Jean King becomes the first woman to beat an alcoholic 55-year-old man in a wheelchair at a game of tennis

1975: Kathy Whitworth's 88 career victories result in her selection to the World Golf Hall of Fame, although she has to be inducted from the ladies podium

1976: Janet Guthrie becomes the first driver in a NASCAR race to stop and ask for directions

1985: Libby Riddles becomes the first woman to win the Iditarod by using the unconventional strategy of having her sled drawn by terrified cats

1993: Rosie O'Donnell becomes the first fat woman to portray a fictional fat female athlete in A League Of Their Own

2000: Cheryl Bachman becomes the first woman in history to understand the Infield Fly Rule

2005: Lisa Leslie breaks boundaries by showing that a woman can dunk a basketball if she puts her mind to it, dreams big, and sort of lets go of the ball a little bit and guides it over the rim while allowing her body language to suggest that it was a dunk

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close