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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Fifty Years Of Space Exploration

This month marks the 50th anniversary of the launching of Sputnik, the earth's first artificial satellite. What are the highlights of these first 50 years of space exploration?

1961: Alan Shepard is chosen to pilot Freedom 7, leading to protests among more qualified and experienced chimpanzee astronauts

1964: Sun officially determined to be really, really hot

1969: First moon walk followed by first refreshing moon nap

1971: Halfway back to Earth, the crew of Apollo 15 turn the spacecraft around after realizing they left lunar module pilot James Irwin on the moon

1985: Birth of first person to whom walking on moon

doesn't seem absolutely unbelievable

2001: Space tourist Dennis Tito returns from orbit smelling a little different and spooking the regulars at the diner

2005: International Space Station gets a flat screen

2007: NASA researchers discover that everything we ever wanted was here on Earth all along

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