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Fighting Chinese Piracy

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The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

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Fighting Chinese Piracy

The United States recently filed several complaints with the World Trade Organization against the Chinese government for its failure to clamp down on media piracy and counterfeiting. Here are some other measures the U.S. has taken to combat the problem:

Refusing to free Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's Ziyi Zhang until demands are met, and maybe a while after for good measure

Sending Steven Spielberg on goodwill mission to explain to average Chinese citizens how piracy hurts his ability to make a living

Giving tax breaks to entertainment industry for making shittier products that are even less worth stealing

Implementing new security algorithm on all CDs and DVDs that slows hackers down for up to three hours

Letting the artists handle it

Tracking all citizens, thereby creating a draconian hellscape to protect Resident Evil: Extinction from profitless consumption

Suing pants off college kids

Fighting never-ending, futile court battles rather than adapting to new technological paradigm

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