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Entertainment

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Filling Empty Movie Theaters

With 3-D films failing to maintain their appeal and movie theater bedbug infestations worrying potential ticket buyers, Hollywood is looking for new ways to sell tickets. Here are some of the ideas being pitched:

  • Hollywood will put an end to the overdone sequels, instead jumping right to the third film
  • Finally doing away with the archaic rule of no talking during the movies—what kind of weirdo doesn't talk for two whole hours?
  • From now on, every time well-known figures make a cameo, they will turn and wink at the camera
  • A movie about animals who talk—and swear!
  • A member of the theater staff will change out of work clothes and discreetly watch the movie with you
  • More realistic body types for cyborgs
  • Movie industry sponsoring study revealing the health risks of sitting at home on your own comfy sofa
  • Madea for white people

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