Flight Attendant Shines Light On Problem Customers

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Vol 46 Issue 33

NFL Punters Lobby Congress For More Fakes

WASHINGTON—High-ranking NFL punters met with members of Congress Tuesday to lobby for legislation that would significantly increase the number of fake punts across the league.

U.S. Call Centers Cost Same As India

According to the head of the largest call center outsourcing firm in the country, the poor job market has made the cost of hiring a call center worker in the United States the same as hiring one in India.

Mysterious Crate Arrives From London

DOCKSIDE, NEW ENGLAND—Shipman and stevedore alike confirmed that the crate is unpleasantly cold to the touch, and none reportedly wished to remain in its presence for long.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Flight Attendant Shines Light On Problem Customers

Ever since Jet Blue employee Steven Slater made headlines for cursing out an unruly flyer on a plane's PA system and escaping down the emergency chute, more flight attendants have been speaking out about mistreatment at the hands of passengers. Here are some of their most common complaints:

  • No one asking for tomato juice anymore
  • People screaming for maintenance of cabin pressure
  • Accusations of not knowing a Rob Roy from a Gin Fizz if their lives depended on it
  • Too much tickling
  • Travelers who claim flight attendants have no authority over them while plane is above international waters
  • Passengers yelling "forever" when flight attendants wish them goodbye
  • Unqualified jokers who keep volunteering when asked if there's a pilot aboard
  • Naomi Campbell
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