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Florida Legalizes Taking Guns To Work

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Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.
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Florida Legalizes Taking Guns To Work

Florida legislators passed a bill allowing citizens to bring their guns to work. Here are some of the other pro-gun laws enacted recently.

Alaska—Members of endangered species now permitted to carry concealed firearms for self-protection

Louisiana—Now legal for residents to shoot at hurricanes

Minnesota—Any resident may fire a single shot every five years, or when Vikings win

Idaho—You can have a gun, or a grenade, but not both

Virginia—Non-gun-owning residents must apply for a permit to not own and operate a firearm

New York—Guest stars on Law & Order may bring their own guns to the set

Kansas—Children as young as 8 can bring guns to school on the condition that there's no funny business

Texas—That huge cattle gun used by Javier Bardem's character in No Country For Old Men now legally available at Fiesta Mart grocery stores

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