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North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Nuclear Warhead Thrilled For Chance To Finally Escape North Korea

PYONGYANG—Saying its spirits were immediately buoyed upon hearing Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un’s recent statement that the military was close to developing an intercontinental ballistic missile, a North Korean nuclear warhead reported Tuesday that it was thrilled for the chance to finally escape the country.

Pope Francis Carves Roast Cherub For Vatican Christmas Dinner

VATICAN CITY—After pulling a probe thermometer from its thigh and tasting a piece of crispy golden-brown skin, Pope Francis began carving a slow-roasted 18-pound cherub for the Vatican’s annual Christmas feast, sources within the Holy See reported Sunday.
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Food Shortage Nearing Crisis

As certain dietary staples are becoming more scarce, food riots are becoming increasingly common around the world. What are the factors behind the food shortage?

Popularity of Food Network has increased global awareness of eating

China's enormous workforce going out for lunch more and more

Buying the jumbo tub of Cheese Balls, realizing cannot finish the jumbo tub of Cheese Balls, throwing away rest of jumbo tub of Cheese Balls

Rice is a hot commodity after street vendors discovered that the value of one grain increases 4,000 percent if you write someone's name on it and turn it into jewelry

NASA's development of the ethanol-fueled space shuttle has required 79 percent of U.S. corn supply

Vast majority of the Earth's population is too busy lately to get to the grocery store

Paving over fields with concrete so tractors can travel faster not working out as well as expected

Not sure—seems like there's plenty of food

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Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.

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