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Politics

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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Fox News Racism: Intentional?

Over the past few weeks, Fox News has made racially insensitive insinuations about the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, Barack Obama, referring to his wife as his "baby mama" and calling a greeting the couple exchanged a "terrorist fist jab." What other similar incidents have occurred on Fox News?

Estimated the amount of time Obama has spent on front porches during the course of his life

Repeatedly called Obama by one of his middle names, "Hussein," while omitting the other, "Christopher Horowitz"

Have used 78 percent more sports terminology in describing Obama's campaign than McCain's

Fox & Friends host Steve Doocy involuntarily shrieked when a graphic of Obama flashed behind his shoulder

Noted that Obama looks like the Fox News team's "one friend"

Whenever he is shown exiting a limousine, journalists mention that his Escalade must be in the shop

Scored footage of Obama visiting a Russian mobile launch missile dismantling facility with the theme from Shaft

Generally biased news reporting

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