Gay Pride Celebrations Across U.S.

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Vol 49 Issue 26

Progressive Charter School Doesn’t Have Students

ATLANTA—One year into its founding as the purported “bold next step in education reform,” administrators on Monday sang the praises of Forest Gates Academy, a progressive new charter school that practices an innovative philosophy of not ...

Government Bans Sugary, Fatty Snacks From Schools

Under the government’s new “Smart Snacks in Schools” guidelines, schools will no longer be allowed to stock vending machines or snack bars with treats exceeding 200 calories or those including trans fats.

Magic Skateboard

PBS 3 p.m. EDT/2 p.m. CDT In this spinoff of The Magic School Bus, Mrs. Frizzle and her class hop on the magic skateboard and try to land a 360 varial inside the principal’s small intestine.

Senate Passes Immigration Reform Bill

With 14 Republicans joining Democrats, the Senate passed a sweeping immigration reform bill yesterday, which would provide a 13-year path to citizenship for the nation’s illegal immigrants, though the bill faces strong opposition from House Republic...
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Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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Gay Pride Celebrations Across U.S.

Gay pride marches and parades will be held this weekend across the United States as LGBT Pride Month draws to a close. Here are some local gay pride celebrations throughout the country:

  • San Francisco: Harvey Milk bobblehead day at AT&T Park
  • McComb, MS: The police department will go door to door giving homosexuals a special permanent marking on their forehead so everyone can know whom to be proud of
  • Addison, VT: William is going to proudly walk down Route 7 from the post office to the hardware store starting at 10 a.m. if anyone wants to come cheer him on
  • Reno, NV: Complimentary prime rib for anyone who comes out to friends and family at Harrah’s
  • Boise, ID: Six or seven gay guys are going fishing up at the lake; should be a nice afternoon
  • Nantucket, MA: This year’s parade to be populated mostly by married men who are only gay while on vacation
  • Bemidji, MN: Due to last year’s poor turnout at the local parade, organizers will bus in some extra gays from Minneapolis
  • Lubbock, TX: Pride Parade on Main St. at noon to be immediately followed by memorial for those lost during Pride Parade
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