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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Gen. Petraeus Delivers Iraq Report

Gen. David Petraeus gave his report on the effectiveness of the troop surge in Iraq to Congress Monday. Here are some of the most significant points:

Title Page, Acknowledgments, Introduction, Results, Conclusion, Appendix

Iraqi government officials still being assassinated, but just barely

Most U.S. soldiers can be relied upon to wake up on time

The six guys that Cameroon sent have been awesome

Due to overly negative review, footnote on every page stressing Patraeus' support of U.S. troops

Two of the 18 political and security benchmarks have been met: Birthday parties for all Iraqi parliamentarians are in place, and nobody died at 3:19 a.m. on July 22

By weight, Americans are now the country's majority

What a wild ride it's been

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