Gen. Petraeus Delivers Iraq Report

Top Headlines

Recent News

Strongside/Weakside: Serena Williams

Serena Williams is aiming to clinch a historic calendar Grand Slam at this year’s U.S. Open, forever enshrining her as the last American tennis player worth talking about. Is she any good?

The Pros And Cons Of Legalizing Prostitution

Several global advocacy groups, including the World Health Organization, Amnesty International, and Human Rights Watch, are calling for the decriminalization of prostitution, but many are fighting to keep the practice illegal, citing the moral, ethical, and practical concerns of condoning the sale of sex. Here are the pros and cons of legalizing prostitution:
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

  • How Theaters Are Trying To Win Back Moviegoers

    The number of Americans who went to the movies hit a 20-year low in 2014, leaving theaters scrambling to find ways to incentivize the public to see new releases on the big screen rather than watch films at home or on the internet. Here are some methods theaters are using to win back audiences and increase box office sales:

Satisfaction

  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

Gen. Petraeus Delivers Iraq Report

Gen. David Petraeus gave his report on the effectiveness of the troop surge in Iraq to Congress Monday. Here are some of the most significant points:

Title Page, Acknowledgments, Introduction, Results, Conclusion, Appendix

Iraqi government officials still being assassinated, but just barely

Most U.S. soldiers can be relied upon to wake up on time

The six guys that Cameroon sent have been awesome

Due to overly negative review, footnote on every page stressing Patraeus' support of U.S. troops

Two of the 18 political and security benchmarks have been met: Birthday parties for all Iraqi parliamentarians are in place, and nobody died at 3:19 a.m. on July 22

By weight, Americans are now the country's majority

What a wild ride it's been